I have new neighbors in the apartment below mine. I hate them. You should, too. In fact, you should give me ideas for the sort of evil I should inflict on them.

They look like your run-of-the-mill aging Brooklyn hipsters, but it's all a ruse. From 10am to 8pm, nonstop mall punk blasts up through my floorboards. Accompanied by the smell of incense. I feel like I live above a fucking Hot Topic or Spencer's Gifts.

I work from home. I've already politely asked them to turn it the fuck down. So I swear to Beezelbub, if I have to listen to one more fucking hour of fucking Simple Plan or Newfound Glory or whatever the fuck these patchouli-addled idiots are playing, I'm going to go down there and strangle them with my Sex Pistols tshirt. Their music is probably what really killed Joey Ramone.


There is some solace in my knowledge that our landlord is illegally overcharging them at least triple for rent. Their apartment is rent-stabilized, and they have no idea. If they only knew, they could easily get the rent reduced by over $1000/month. But I sure as hell won't tell them. Muahahaha!

But I feel this isn't nearly enough evil for the likes of them. Suggestions please?